Trypanophobia

me going to give the needle

I have Trypanophobia...some of you know what it is and some of you have no idea what it is?
Well let me tell you what it is....It is an intense fear of Needles.
You are probably wondering how I got Trypanophobia?
Let me tell you how it all started....I was probably 7 years old when this happened it was a nice sunny day out. One of my friends asked me if i wanted to play outside at the dirt hill? I said yes so we went out to the dirt hill and started playing in the dirt. I saw a big concrete rock...to me it looked like a mountain so of course i went over and started climbing on it. My friend yelled to me and said "Hey Tiff be careful don't fall and hurt yourself." I said "don't worry i will be OK I'm great at climbing on things." Just as I finished saying that I slipped fell off the rock. My friend jumped off the dirt hill and came running over to me and said"Tiff are you OK"?
I said" Yes I'm fine it didn't hurt that much" My friend held out her hand and and helped me up off the ground. My knee hurt a little bit so i looked down at my knee and saw that i scraped open when i fell. I said "My knee is bleeding I better go home and get it all cleaned up than i will come back and keep play." my friend said "OK you better go and get that taking care of I will wait here for you". I walked home went into my mom's room and found her talking on the phone she looked at my knee and called my brother to clean it up and put some polysporin cream and a band aid on it. He did what she told him to do...I was up and running in no time I went back to the dirt hill and started playing with my friend again.
A couple days later my knee was giving me a lot of pain so i told my mom that my knee was hurting i showed her it she said"go show your dad that". I went over to my dad and showed him my knee he said"You must be allergic to what ever was put on your knee and it's infected now".
He told my mom to get a sowing needle and to come outside...he said"sit on the picnic table" so i did He told my mom to use the needle to open up my scrap and let out all the infection and get the felt over dirt and tiny rocks my brother left in it.
So my dad held me and my mom started opening up my scrap...It hurt so much that I was crying and screaming. I kept seeing the needle going into my skin every time she put it in i would let out a scream.
They got it all cleaned up and felt it open for a bit I was shaking for a while and said" Never want to look at another needle again".
Ever since that day i have been scared of needles....This last past year i have gotten so many needles I went to the dentist and found out that i had 6 cavities that need filling. That really surprised me because i take good care of my teeth i brush them a lot I have a little bit of an obsession i think. I went back and they filled three on the right side it was awful because i don't take freezing that well so i kept having to get the needle in my mouth.
Before i got the needle I was shaking my heart was beating really fast and load my hands where sweating i was a mess. When i got the first needle it hurt a lot I started to feel really lightheaded and felt like i was going to throw up. My first thought was I'm going to pass out I told them that i didn't feel well they said"take deep breaths and calm down". I tried to but it was not working i was just so scared I got though it without passing out! The second time i went back The same thing happened again they had to put so much freezing in my mouth that it stayed frozen the rest of the day.
I had to get stitches 3 times...The first time I was running in the bushes and tripped on barbwire and cut open my leg so that needed stitsches
The second time i jumped off one of are metal roofs and cut my arm on the corner.
The third time I was cutting carrots and missed the carrot and go my hand.
Than a few months ago i was having some health problems and need a blood test it was my first blood test and the nurse old me to lay down because I have fainted a couple times when getting needles.
Than at school i had to get some needles the first one i got i fainted and the nurses and my friend freaked out. It was so embarrassing I felt so dumb!
So I have had my share of needles for a long time. After getting all of those my fear of needles is slowly going away!
I got to give a needle a few months ago to my teachers son he's diabetic and has to take shots everyday. So my teacher and one of my really good friend where talking one day and my friend had the idea that i should try giving a needle because sometimes that takes away the fear. My friends daughter is becoming an LPN and she is scared of needles like me and since she has to give them her fear is going away. So my teacher said"you are giving you first needle on Saturday". did i mention that i want to be come an LPN when I'm older?

I just got a new camera it is a Canon Rebel eos xs I bought it to church on Saturday with me to show my friend. It was potluck and after everyone was done eat my teacher says its time to give the needle i forgot all about giving it!
We got up and went over to her son he showed me what to do...It was my turn I was shaking and felt sick!
I held the needle and put it into his arm it was so scary the seconds felt like minutes! I started to feel really hot and lightheaded my heart was beating hard i could hear it in my ear I felt like i was going to throw up!
As i was giving the needle my friend was taking pictures with my new camera!
After i was all done i was so pale and shaking bad everyone said"Wow i have never see Tiffany that pale before".
So my fear of needles is slowly going away!
I know someday i will fully get over it but till than I'm living with it!